Artist: Disturbing Tha Peace f/
Album: Golden Grain
Song: Pimp Council
All rise...order in the court
The honourable judge muthafuckin' Too $hort
presidin' over Superior Players Court
The first case is the State vs. Fate Wilson A.K.A.
You bein' charged wit home invasion and hoe slaughter
For fuckin' another nigga's bitch
Listen close to what I say
Dog, it might hurt ya
I be cuttin' ya girl while you be goin' to work
When she first called my conscience was like,
"Hell naw, Fate don't"
But she said, "I'm only around the corner",
and popped her lil' punt
Apartment 5-7-0-1, told her I was eatin' right
Be over there when I get done
Got there, knocked on the door
She opened up the door half naked, lookin' exquisite
Ackin' mad 'cuz I ain't spoke to her since the
last time a nigga hit it
She said, "Don't worry forget it since we
only have 30 minutes"
'Fore her man came home for lunch
So I bust my nut and raised up wit
Five mnutes to spare, her man unaware
I saw him in traffic, beeped the horn and threw
a deuce in the air
Yea I'm a playa
But I feel guilty 'bout cuttin' a broad
I need counselin' dog, 'cuz it's guilty as charged
Simply because I felt victim to lust and
Knowin' all the while it was my cousin girlfriend
I had been fuckin' (Damn!)
The court finds you guitly as charged
Your sentence is PUI school
For pimpin' under the influence, nigga
Oh we got us a repeat offender in the house
Jenny Jones A.K.A. Shanwnna
Same ol' charge...wanted in 8 states
What's yo story this time?
Oh yes yo' honor I see we talkin' again
I have no representation now shall we begin
I know you seen my face before but...hold on my
It's niggas gettin' away wit doin' the...same
shit I did
I...can't do no bid
I got a mortgage and my kids
In a forest by the bridge
And I drives a Rolls Royce in a porridge wit dem
So you undertand I was tryna pay me some bills
When I was flippin' outta state while I was takin'
Shootin' deem and a couple friends, spend a couple
Took the top off of the drop and let the bubble
Niggas got off in my knot and let them troubles
So I decided to put that shit in my own hands
None of these hoes can fuck me, only God judge
That man told me he love me and he flash money
My only crime could just be livin' it filthy
So let me hear it on mo' time--not guilty
Bailiff, take her into custody
Oh, not my baby!
State vs. Velvet Jones A.K.A. Ludacris
You bein' charged wit impeedin' how traffic
Spendin' too much time tryna fuck one hoe
How do you plead Mr. Jones?
Man I'm the pimp of all pimps and y'all comin'
Calm down before I hold yo ass contempt of court
Ya honor, just be cool, let me approach that bench
And sprinkle seasonin' on yo ears 'bout how I
choked that beeyotch!
Well did she promise you the pussy, mayn?
She ceratinly did
I got empty McDonald's cups in my car and my crib
She owe me sumthin', bitch betta show me sumthin'
Wrap her legs around my waist and start to throw
I'm simply the meanest, you lookin' at the stroke
of a genius
The only verdict made should be the subpoena uh
No objections or appeals, let's cut us a deal
And I promise to tell the truth if my partner
She's awfully cautious, said the jury makes her
She said she said she'd suck my dick if I dropped
Oh no! Time to make ya kidneys shift
But didn't you fuck her best friend?
Oh, I plead the fifth
[Too $hort talking]
Yea, that sound like some shit you'll say
Ol' pimp ass nigga
Due to lack of evidence, I'm droppin' the charges
Don't let me see you in here again
Let this be a lesson learned
If you don't know you player rules
You liable to violate the game and get sent away
for a long, long time
Remember...never hate on a real player
It ain't gon' get you nowhere, mayn
It's a lotta hoes out there player so...
Ain't no reason fot yuo to fuck ya best friend
Or ya cousin or ya brother's girl
Get ya own bitch, mayn, you know what I'm sayin'?
You runnin' around here...
Violatin' major player rules
You 'bout to get the muthafuckin' book thrown
at yo bitch ass
Fuckin' 'round in this court
You know what I'm sayin'? It's all about the money
It it ain't about the money...it ain't about SHIT!!
To all you niggas runnin' 'round here...
Corny than a motherfucker
Just tryna fuck a bitch 'cuz you wanna get a nut
Think about that money first, mayn--what is that
bitch doin' for you?
What are you gettin' outta the situation?
Tryna give a bitch sumthin'
What you gon' give her sumthin' for--some pussy?!
It's trickin', mayn
Don't be a BEEUTCH!
Be a real pimp, nigga
Make that hoe pay you for everythang you do
Everythang you do you gotta get money, mayn...all
day, all night
I wouldn't fuck a bitch for free
Just like I wouldn't rap for free, motherfucker
Yea, you know my favorite word...BEEUTCH!!